The Dead Man's Float

There’s a song we sing with the kids during Vacation Bible School called Pharaoh Pharaoh. One of the verses ends with the kids going limp and singing “And all of Pharaoh’s army did the dead man’s float.” Swimmers know that this is an actual position used for life saving purposes for when things are at their worst. Imagine being stuck on a sinking ship in the middle of the sea without any land in sight or anything to cling to. If you can somehow manage to relax and let your body’s natural buoyancy take over, keeping your head just barely above water so your airways are dry; you just might stand a chance of letting the current take you to the nearest shoreline. Exhausted, beat up, at your mental and physical limits; the only thing you have left in you is to sit back and let the tides take you where they may. For better or worse your fate rests in whichever way the winds blow.

This may seem like a scenario most of us are not likely to face, but some of us are doing the dead man’s float this very moment and not even realizing it. Your feelings have been hurt. You’ve lost your faith, your trust in God, in His church, and you are just going through the motions letting the tide take you where it sees fit. You feel like you’ve got nothing else to give and you’re hurt too bad to do anything more than keep your head barely above water. Will you end up in a good place? Will you be worse off than before? Those questions aren’t up you to answer any longer….unless you kick. If you are reading this and find yourself floating through life, I urge you to kick! Point yourself towards God, towards His church, stop floating, and start fighting for your soul! I know these words are easier to write than they are to act on, but you are not alone! God is by your side, Jesus died so you would have a chance to survive, and there are people all around that want to help. Send up a flare, get somebody’s attention, ask for a prayer, tell them you are drowning and need something to hold on to. Stop floating and start swimming towards Christ. 

Do you know?

"Do you know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak" 

Isaiah 40:28-29 is one of my favorite verses because it speaks to the reader at the time they are at their most vulnerable. Down on their luck with all hope about to be lost, Isaiah's words are almost like a slap in the face as if he’s in shock that there may yet be those that do not understand God’s power. "Have you not heard?!" It is in these two verses that we are reminded of God's all knowing, all understanding, all powerful heart. His is the kind of love that wraps you tight like a warm blanket on a cold night and keeps you safe in the knowledge that you are stronger than you will ever truly understand when God is your focus. There isn't a greater love than His and with Him by your side during those moments when all seems lost, you can rest easy in knowing that one day soon you will stand tall in God’s shining light. 

Worth The Hype!!

Well there it went! The greatest and in my opinion most overly hyped scientific event this millennium SOLAR ECLIPSE 2017! finally arrived and was over in 2 minutes. For the past 12 months the legend of the SOLAR ECLIPSE OF 2017!!! got bigger by the day along with the expectation that we were all about to witness a life altering event the likes of which would never be seen again for 100 years. Hide your pets, blindfold your children, grab your welder’s mask, and stare in amazement as the world goes dark during the middle of the day…but not really. Lets be honest it barely got cloudy outside. I’m not saying it wasn’t something to take a peek at, but was it really drive 200 miles, rent a hotel room for 3 days, stand outside in a 100 degree blazing mid-day sun kinda neat? I just don’t see it (even though I did see it).

Frankly after seeing how packed Spring Park was, not to mention the millions of pictures on social media showing football stadiums at standing room only crowd levels, I couldn’t help but think of another day when we will all be staring up at the sky waiting for something truly amazing to happen. A time when as Jesus described it in Matthew 24 verses 29-31 “the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the stars will fall from the sky, and the heavenly bodies will be shaken. Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven. And then all the peoples of the earth will mourn when they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven, with power and great glory. And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other.”

Now that’s something worth risking blindness over!

Bill Beck iii

The Words That Hurt

Matthew 26:69-75 describes what Peter went through as Jesus was being beaten. Three times someone within the crowd that had gathered pointed Peter out and revealed to everyone his connection to Jesus. With each attempt to unmask his true identity, Peter became more and more outrageous in his denial of ever knowing Jesus. Finally it is said in verse 24 that “he began to curse and swear, saying, “I do not know the Man!”

Peter was afraid of the large crowd and what they may do to him if it was discovered that he was a student of Jesus. Peter had to do something to separate himself from the man on the other side of the courtyard being spit on and whipped and he had to do it quick. So Peter did the only thing he could think of and that was to begin to curse and swear as loud as he could; the thought behind this being that if Jesus was who he proclaimed to be, than no follower of the Son of God would dare say such vile and disgusting words. The same connections are just as easily destroyed by us today when we proclaim our love for Jesus one moment and let loose a string of curse words the next. Whether it be while singing along to the radio or quoting a line from a movie or stubbing our toe on the coffee table and lashing out in a fit of rage, when the outside world hears us who profess our love for Christ and then say those same words Peter used that day in Gethsemane; the same affect is achieved…and the same betrayal is repeated. 

The Fire Within

Fall is finally arriving and it never fails that once we start waking up to those cool mornings with the temps in the 50’s, my boys become fascinated with being able to see their breath. The moment we walk out the door headed to school, the excitement hits them. “Dad I can see my breath!” “Look Dad, I’m blowing smoke like a dragon” “I need a jacket Dad it’s so cold my breath is freezing!” I try to explain the science; when you inhale your body temperature warms the air which causes the moisture to condense when you exhale as the warm air hits the cold air all around you. Your breath is always there, but you can only see it when the conditions are right. Like most kids they aren’t interested in the science behind it, they just like running around pretending they have the power to shoot fire out of their faces. “Look Dad I can blow smoke out of my nose!”

Like my children I also find myself waking up with excitement at what I see each morning; The bright yellow sun lighting a brilliant blue sky; Parents kissing their children on the tops of their head and hustling them into school; Joggers running up and down the sidewalks trying to stay in shape; People everywhere beginning a brand new day. When the conditions are right though I find myself looking through all of the happenings and marveling at what else I see…a promise kept by a Man sent from Heaven to save the World. And just like my boys who I hope never get bored with seeing smoke come from their noses, I pray I never become blind to the sight of Jesus working his magic in my life. 

If the price is right

Thanks to social media selling your unwanted things for a reduced price has become almost too easy. Long gone are the weeks spent pricing and organizing everything just so you can wake up at 5:00 to put it all on tables in your yard. Now with a quick pic and a few clicks from your phone, hundreds of people can take a peak at your inventory and offer what they think it may be worth. Recently my kids have taken a cue from their mother and realized there's value in all those toys collecting dust in their closets. Monday they came walking into the room each with a large pile of stuffed animals in tow. As I was sorting the Spidermen from the Tiggers, I came across two Care Bears. These stuffed bears with the symbols on their tummies representing an emotion have been around forever with Mandy & I still having ours put up for safe keeping to this very day (mine is Good Luck Bear). As I pulled the bears out from the sell pile, I asked how the boys could dare want to sell something so priceless and full of sentimental value. I was a bit taken back by the response I got; "Dad! We want the money more!"

As I sat and thought about how easy my children were willing to give up such a precious gift for a few dollars of fun, the more I understood it's the same thing we all do with the gift given to us that day at Calvary. Jesus gave his life so our sins may be forgiven and yet how many times do we ignore that gift in exchange for something petty like an R rated movie or a song with such filthy lyrics they can't play it on the radio? The answer is probably more often than any of us care to admit.

Just Like Your Father

"He gets that from you!". Mandy & I say some form of this expression at least twice a day. "That one's all you right there!". It's as if there's some sort of competition taking place with the winner receiving the secret victory of knowing our children may have their faults, but at least they didn't get it from their mother (I typically lose this battle). I suppose it happens to us all at times; these traits we develop either through genetics or enough time spent with somebody. Adam just came back from spending a week at camp and suddenly everything is SAVAGE! I'm savage, Alex is savage, lunch is savage, fishing is savage...apparently he had a bunk-mate that used the word to mean anything cool. When I was a kid everything was Smurfy, now it's savage. The way we comb our hair or eat pizza (fold or fork?) or the phrases we use...it all comes down to the thousand different things that influence us during each passing minute of the day.

These same ideas of how we become who we are and who people see when they are around us are explored in 1st John 3. A life lived in service of God and in remembrance of His son Jesus Christ, should bring a sense of knowing to those we come into contact with. Love, peace, a desire to do right, and a sense that we are not worth of the sacrifice made on our behalf, should wash out from us whenever we are out in the world. Like the scent from a candle that reminds you of home or the feeling you get when you first meet somebody you instantly know can be depended on, the way we act should create a spark inside those that don't know Him. And when the time has come for us to part ways and let life take us where it may, we should all be so lucky to be remembered by those we knew as "Just like his/her Father".

Rocky takes a bath!

Summertime is in full swing and there's barely a night we are home and not out doing something on the town. Splash pads, taking advantage of free kid's meals at local restaurants, VBS, we try to soak in as much fun in the two months off before school starts back as we can. With all the fun though, there's still chores that need to be done at the house even if we don't get to them until midnight. With that in mind I have been meaning to tell the story of Rocky's bath a few weeks ago.

Rocky is more like a puma rather than a house cat. He's dark gray with a giant frame that when fully stretched out is the length of a small child. When he parades around the house you can see his muscles flex and if ever he decides to take a nap on top of you in the middle of the night, you know it. Alex tends to be his favorite sleeping buddy since that's what Alex does best; laying around playing video games and napping. It was because of all this togetherness that Mandy & I decided it might be a good idea to give Rocky a much needed and long overdue bath. That's what lead us to scooping him up and soaking him in a sink full of water at 11:00 p.m. one night.

What we didn't consider however were two important details. The first being that due to a recent rampage around the house in which several items were broken, Rocky was not winning any awards for cat of the year. The destruction caused was so severe that I proclaimed that should one more thing come up broken, Rocky would be living a life of complete freedom outside with the other wild animals. The second thing Mandy & I neglected to do was tell either of the boys what was about to take place. We just scooped up the cat and went to washing. So to set the scene; Mandy & I are huddled around the kitchen sink. I've got Rocky by the scruff and forcing him into the water, Mandy is doing her best to cover every area in shampoo, and Rocky....well Rocky has gone full beast mode and is screaming his head off. It must have sounded like a fire truck was barreling through the yard and about to park itself in the middle of our kitchen, because Alex hears all the noise and comes running into the room ready to save his favorite pet from whatever trap it was caught in. What happens next is pure chaos as Alex sees me holding the cat under the running faucet, immediately remembers the threat on Rocky's life I made earlier in the day, and has a come apart!

"NOOOOOO!!! BROTHER!!! DADDY'S DROWNING ROCKY!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"HE'S KILLING ROCKY JUST LIKE HE SAID HE WOULD!!!!!"
"WHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Off to his bedroom screaming and crying the cat's name all the way there!

I must remind you that the first reaction every parent has when seeing their child in distress is to stop what they are doing and immediately try to make things better....but we can't do that because we are still fighting this puma who has all his claws and is screaming as loud as the seven year-old that just ran out of the room. Honestly it was like trying to wrestle a raccoon and comfort a puppy at the same time.

"ALEX!!! GET BACK IN HERE!! WE ARE JUST GIVING HIM A BATH!! HE'S NOT DROWNING"
"MEOOOOOWWWW. RAAAAAR. REOOOWWWW"
"WHAAAAAAAA!!!! POOR ROCKY! I LOVE HIM!!!"

The bath ends and the moment he touches ground, Rocky takes off like a bottle rocket sliding on the hardwood floors and slamming into every wall and door until he finally found a place to hide for the night....and I mean he stayed there for the entire night and most of the next day until he was 100% sure bath time was over. Aaaahhh the joys of having a pet and a seven year-old mini me.

There's Not A Friend!

I'm turning 42 this year which seems like a mistake, because in many ways I feel like I'm still in my early 30's. Recently I was talking with a friend about people we have known and where they may be now. I knew a kid in high school that was heavier set, wore glasses, and carried this massive backpack around all day which garnered him the name Turtle. I saw him almost every day for 3 years and then he moved out of state to go to college and I never saw him again. For about five years I worked at a grocery store in 7-Points in Florence. It's where I met my future wife and many of my best friends. I'd work nights during the school year and days during the summer. By the time I left I'd worked in every department of the store and it felt like those days would last forever. I still run into some of those guys from the store every now and then, but I've lost touch with so many of those that I thought would always be around.

This past week within minutes of dropping Adam off at Maywood Christian Camp, he was with his buddy from Huntsville that he only gets to see during this one week of the year. They were in the same cabin for the 3rd year in a row and immediately ran off to toss the football like the year between their last game of catch never happened. I think about friends that have faded away into the background of life, many of which are now just characters in stories I tell, and I wonder where they all went. Inevitably when these times come a song pops into my head and reminds me of the one friend I'll never have to wonder what happened to..."There's not a friend like the lowly Jesus, no not one, no not one" (Johnson Oatman Jr. 1895)

Neck deep in change

My oldest son Adam was playing golf with a friend last week when something unexpected took place. They were at a hole that featured a good sized water hazard that lay directly between them and the green. Intent on making it over the pond on the first try; Adam's friend stepped up to the tee, planted his feet the way he'd been taught, focused on the ball, swung as hard as he could...and was stunned to see the ball never moved an inch. What did move though was the club which left his hand, sailed through the air several yards, and splashed down in the middle of the pond. If this wasn't shocking enough, the young man then let out a scream and began taking his clothes off. According to Adam; one second his friend was lining up his shot and the next he was diving into the water wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and a frown.

As hilarious as this may sound it reminds me of men like Paul who once lived as Saul until a few moments with God changed his life. The Bible speaks of Peter whom couldn't believe his ears when Jesus told him that soon he would deny the Son of God three times. If you think about it, it only took a split second bite into an apple to change our entire history.

As the saying goes; nothing ever changes until it does. We should guard ourselves against any mistakes or lapses in judgment that might suddenly leave us in a moment of weakness. Remember to focus on our faith when things are going our way and not just when we find ourselves neck deep in trouble...or using the example above; in over our head in the middle of a water hazard.

Alone With Christ

Recently my cousin told me the story about how on a trip last month to visit family in Jacksonville, Fl. she was given the gift of alone time. This may not seem like much to some, but as a stay at home mother of three; a few hours to just be by herself was a priceless opportunity. So where did she go? Well in spite of the fact that it was pouring down rain outside, the wind whipping all around her, the sun completely hidden behind the clouds with no sign of breaking free any time soon...my cousin went to her favorite beach and had just as much fun as she would've had it been a perfectly clear summer's day. As she wrapped up her story, she told me about how much she talked to God and how nice it was to almost feel him listening.

Jesus often took time out from his teachings to step away from the crowds and talk to Father God. Matthew 14:23 mentions such a time saying, "After Jesus said goodbye to the people, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. It was late and he was there alone." It really sounds like a simple goal when you say it out loud doesn't it? Say it with me, "I'm going to take a few minutes of each day to talk to God." The problem is that like with most goals, life gets in the way and before you know it today's To Do List's become tomorrow's regrets. So what do you do if you can't find an empty beach and friend to pick up your responsibilities for the day?

Like any goal worth achieving, alone time with God is something you must fight for in spite of the obstacle's Satan puts in your way. Tomorrow morning skip the snooze button and earlier wake up to pray. Cut the television off at 10:00 p.m. rather than midnight so you can read your bible after the kids go to bed. Time spent in prayer doesn't have to a once in a lifetime event. With a few tweaks

Cereal Gifter

Last Wednesday night our sweet friend Natalie who teaches Alex's Bible class, had the kids make Mother's Day gifts. Not known for his patience, the moment class was over Alex runs up to Mandy begging her to open his gift. After a few minutes of trying to calm him down and get him to wait until the actual holiday, Mandy goes over to a side room and opens the gift which her little boy made with such excitement. What she pulls out of the bag is something similar to the Olympic rings in design except of course covered with cheerios.

"Wow Alex! This is pretty! Thank you!!"
"It's a bracelet Mommy!!"

With that, Mandy puts her wrist through the first loop and can't help but notice the 3 other cheerio filled rings dangling down her arm....

"I made it kinda big. I think it's a necklace."

Always the good sport, Mandy takes it off her wrist and begins to put the first loop over her head...and manages to get it about down to her ears before it refuses to go further. Sitting there in front of Alex (eyes wide and in full appreciation of his awesome Mother's Day gift), Mandy does the only thing she can do which is shake her head about flinging the dangling rings back & forth and says

"Hey look it's a headband! This is so great. And look if I get hungry I can just fling a loop in front of my face and get a cheerios snack!"

Seeing how pleased his Mommy is of his expert craftsmanship, Alex takes off to play leaving Mandy to enjoy her bracelet/necklace/headband/snack dispenser. Afterward while joining up with the rest of the church, somebody catches up to Mandy and says

"Did you like your Mother's Day gift Alex made?"
"Of course, but it's a little small. I can't quite figure out how to get it around my neck."

And that's when things fall into place....."Around your neck? You know it's a bird feeder right?"

Classic Alex! Forget listening or reading instructions, let's just put this stuff together and see what we come up with. To add to it Natalie told us later that right away he asked if he could eat some of the cheerios he was putting on. When she agreed, it was one cheerio on the loop and one handful in his mouth. Apparently Natalie lost count as to how many times she had to fill up his bowl so he would have enough to finish!!

A Whopper of a lesson

Before Adam was born I read a bunch of books about how to be an awesome dad. I learned about how the baby will look slimey and covered with cheese moments after it's born. How to wrap them up in a tiny burrito so they feel snug and sleep easier. I read book after book about exercising with your baby, reading to your baby, singing with your baby...I was a baby book expert! Of course all that reading didn't help nearly as much as I'd hoped simply because babies don't follow the rules and always do things on their own time table. After page upon page of instruction, somewhere along the way I learned the secret to being a parent is just being there every day involved in every aspect of your child's life. This continues on through their single digit years and just based on how many questions my mother asks me at 41, never really stops. One important thing the books never covered though is that in the eyes of your child, you are always an example of how to act and react to a situation.

You stub your toe and let out a curse word, the kid sees it. You eat a handful of grapes at the grocery without paying for them, the kid sees it. You flip someone the bird during traffic or run a red light or fly off the handle because Burger King put ketchup on your Whopper even though you specifically told them five times you hate it and they never ever get it right! I mean just one time could you please listen to me and leave the tomato off!! Would it kill them to....you get the point, the kid sees it. There aren't any days off or vacation days when it comes to being a role model for your children. As exhausting as that sounds, it's just a part of the job that Mommy & Daddy have to learn to come to grips with. You might be able to hide your flaws from your boss or neighbor or the preacher at church, but you child is always there watching and listening and recording everything for a time when they may also be in a similar situation.

Recently there have a been some challenges that Mandy & I have faced that left us wondering afterward how closely the boys were paying attention. Looking back at my own childhood I'm positive there were circumstances and events my own mother would probably wish I couldn't recall. While the example we set during tough times is definitely something we should keep in mind, how we pick ourselves up, admit our mistakes, and move forward is also a valuable lesson to be shown to our children. They need to understand that just like them, we make mistakes (some larger some smaller) and that often it's the way we recover from them that provides the greatest lesson on how to be an adult.

Fidget Spinner Mania!!

Said many times and never more true than with the Fidget Spinner; it's often the simplest ideas that make the sense (and cents). Take 3 nickel sized sets of ball bearings, pop them into a plastic triangle shaped mold, and make them only available online and what you end up with is a million dollar frenzy that is spinning out of control all over the country. People are quite literally setting up tents, selling them off the truck, and watching the lines get longer and longer as desperate parents try to help their children avoid being the only tyke without one.

Local news is reporting about them, the Today show is spending countless segments covering the craze, and schools have already started banning the fidget spinner because of the distractions they cause. Which is kinda sad once you understand that their original purpose was to help those with anxiety, ADHD, ADD, autism, or those that just can't seem to block out the urge to constantly swing a leg, tap a foot, or hum a song. I've been a nail biter for 41 yrs and thanks to my fidget spinner I'm able to leave my hands alone,avoid nodding off at inappropriate times, and really zone in on what I'm doing while flipping the stew out one of my two spinners.

I get these things are toys to most, but I can't help but think about how useful one would have been to me when I was struggling to pay attention in class and about all those that are struggling today and can't find a solution. Fad yes. Distraction certainly, but like Mandy said to somebody this past week "They are toys for my boys and a necessity for my husband!!"  

The Sporting Life

Baseball season is about to come and go. Some seasons are better than others. For every no winner there's an undefeated or allstar year right behind it and vice versa. I think Adam enjoys the never ending cycle of baseball, soccer, and basketball, but lately something feels different. It's entirely possible he's bored with it; after having taken only one year of basketball off since he first started playing around age 6, it's easy to assume he may just want a break. It could be he's just feeling restless and looking for something new. He keeps mentioning flag football.

Out running the wolves

Growing up the angry man would always be watching some type of nature documentary. He wouldn't force us to join him, but we are talking about a time before Facebook, Netflix, Snapchat, YouTube. If we were lucky to have a television in our bedrooms it typically only picked up a handful of stations. Basically that main television was it and if that's what the controller of the remote wanted to watch, then that's what we watched. Of course life in 2017 is a completely different story, with families barely being in the same room 90% of the time and if they are everyone's watching their own handheld screen. The boys claim they don't like watching the nature shows that I insist on playing every few weeks but whenever one comes on, like their Dad they are glued to the beauty of Mother Nature.

It was a couple of weeks ago that we were watching Planet Earth II on the BBC network. During this 8-part series, each week you were taken to a different part of the world and given a close up view on how those that inhabit a particular region such as oceans, the Arctic, the rain-forests etc.. survive in spite of the consequences they have been born in to. One week they may be showing you how Gecko's living in the Arabian dessert have to constantly lift alternating feet off the sand to keep them cool. You might flip over to find how Hyenas have learned that if they wait until nightfall, they can roam freely through the city streets of Harar, Ethiopia. One episode in particular stood out to me; the Grasslands.

The Grasslands are basically these areas all over the world that feature thousands of miles of rolling hills, large flat plains, all covered with grass and containing close to 500 different species of animals and birds. Long story short the narrator of this episode was telling the story of these baby antelopes. Tiny, frail, innocent, baby antelopes that you just wish you could have as a pet. The documentary showed these newborn antelopes having to learn how to walk within hours of waking up in this very strange and often scary new world. After showing a few scenes of the baby antelope standing on its' tiny wobbly little legs the narrator then makes the comment that within a matter of one or two days the antelope will not only be expected to walk beside their mothers, but will have to literally run for their lives. Antelope herds are always moving about and those that are left behind stand a good chance they will become food for the packs of coyotes that are always lurking just along the horizon looking for a meal.

Ghostly white with eyes that can see far off into the distance and fangs designed to chew through bone, the coyote is built for one thing and one thing only, kill and eat. When they see a baby antelope that has fallen behind, the coyotes immediately break into action. It was in this documentary that they showed (I'm assuming by a drone operated camera) the chase scene as this baby antelope which had barely been alive more than 36 hours takes off towards the rest of the herd as fast as it can. The narrator then tells you that young antelopes can only run about 30 mph which is considerably slow compared to the top speed of the coyote which is 45 mph. As the scene moves forward you see it all about to play out. The antelope running across the plain, the coyote gaining ground getting closer and closer. It doesn't take too long before the gap between them shortens and the coyote can just about make a dive for the antelopes legs....and then something begins to happen. The distance between them starts getting larger. The coyote begins to slow down a bit. And you think "What happened? What did the antelope do to survive what was certainly about to be a quick end?" That's when you hear the voice of the narrator say "Thankfully the coyote can only run so fast for so long, while the antelope can maintain it's speed for much longer and much further" The antelope didn't have to run faster...it simply had to run just fast enough and long enough to escape the coyote. Tired of the chase, looking for easier pray; the coyote gives up and turns its attention somewhere else.

As Christians we spend a lot of time talking about the path to Heaven. We teach about the miracles Jesus preformed and the ultimate sacrifice of his life on the cross. It's easy to find on any given Sunday a sermon on the importance of repentance or the value of a life lived through Christ....but what we may not hear as much...what we may not take the time to focus on as often...is that just like the antelope, we have coyotes of our own that we must out run. We have our own race to win and it's not about how fast we get to the finish line or how many times we've dodged the Devil's attempts to trap us before. While our long term goal should be getting to Heaven, our short term goal should be not slowing down and becoming easy prey.

Now not everyone knows where they are running to. As Christians we have the gift of knowing what lays ahead at the end of this path. Like the baby antelope we know that just up ahead there's a home waiting with a glorious Father standing arms spread wide. Not everyone has that luxury. We all know people (and there may be some in here tonight), that have seen that devil closing in on them and they are running as fast they can...but they are caught in a trap and don't realize it. That wolf over their shoulder has them scared and because of that, they keep making the wrong choices and taking the wrong turns and pretty soon they headed towards a lake of fire with very few choices left.

I mentioned a moment ago that we have the luxury of knowing that a life lived following Jesus and Father God will lead us to a place of eternal peace. We don't have to run faster than that wolf, that Devil, we just gotta run longer....but knowing what's at the end of a path, doesn't mean you're going to make it there. It takes time, endurance; you can't stop praying for a month or stop reading your Bible because it doesn't entertain you like the internet. Yes you can have a bad day. It's natural to have moments of doubt and to struggle with everything that life throws at you but don't spend too much time catching your breath and don't be surprised if you don't look back and see that Devil just about to take a bite. If you are struggling, keep running. There are people that want to help you win this race. Whether it be this moment or midnight; don't wait, don't hesitate...don't let the coyotes get any closer than they already are.

I can see clearly now

If there is one thing Mandy & I are good at in terms of parenting, it's being able to accurately gauge when something is wrong with one or both of the kids. Nose bleeds, an asthma attack, a virus....we typically catch things in advance and are able to get a jump start on getting everyone back healthy. Don't get me wrong; we aren't germ-a-phobes (well not over-reactive ones anyway), we both just have a sense as to whether something more serious may be going on or not. To back this up, we've been told countless times that had we waited a couple more days or not brought them to the doctor at all, things would have been much much worse. Which leads me to the story of Alex getting glasses last week....

Alex had mentioned to Mandy a couple times lately that he had to go to the board to do math problems and couldn't see things real far away. You never know though; Adam said he couldn't see the board from his desk too, only to find out after his eye exam that there was a girl with big hair sitting in front of him and he couldn't see around her. Then a week ago last Saturday while watching a basketball game on TV, I caught Alex squinting real hard and saying he couldn't read what the score of the game was. It was then that we decided he better have his eyes checked. Considering that everyone on both sides of the family needs glasses, it just made sense that Lex might be having issues also and we still think it's just a matter of time before Adam needs them as well. 

Because of the chance of severe weather, we all piled into the optometrist's office knowing there was a good possibility Alex would be getting glasses. The only question was just how thick would they be and would he be okay with it. So the nurse points to the eye chart which reads EFQRZ on the top line and other letters in smaller print on the lines below. She then asks Alex:

"Can you read the top line for me?"

"no" very quietly very shy. 

The nurse holds up something over his eyes and covers one side up "What about now?"

"no" barely saying a word.

The nurse flips a switch on the thing over his eyes and says it again "How about now? What does the top line say?""

"I can't read it..."

At this point Mandy and I are thinking 1) Alex is blind and 2) what kind of terrible parents are we that our son can't see two feet in front of his face and us not know it?!?!" From the look on her face, the nurse is thinking the same thing as well. Then suddenly it hits me! 

"Alex those aren't words. We just want you to say the letters."

"OHHHHH! I thought they spelled something!!! EFQRZ"

Funny, but also a huge relief as Mandy & I really panicked for a second there. Alex did end up with glasses, but nothing like the giant Coke bottle things he almost got had we not figured out at the last second he thought we were trying to get him to read German. 

Immediately after putting them on, his face lit up and he started laughing at all the stuff he could see now. That night before bed, he even made us tear up a bit by giving his mother a kiss on the cheek and saying thank you for letting him see again. The kid sure knows how to pull at our heart strings. 

Tramps like us

The boys got a trampoline from Pops for their birthday and have been jumping for two days straight. I've never spent much time on one and honestly, I just don't get the appeal of bouncing up and down and up and down. Bouncing over here and bouncing over there. "Look Dad! I'm bouncing!" This goes on for hours and hours. Adam started calling it tramp time. "Hey Dad, tonight before bed can I get a little tramp time?" Which is a really creepy thing to hear your 11 yr old say. I guess things could be worse; at least all of this tramp talk is getting them off their tablets.

"WHAT?!?! I can't go to bed yet, I've not been on my tablet?!?!?!?"

I hear this at least twice a week. What a first world problem to have; how dare you send me to bed without letting me stare at some idiot who posted a video online of himself playing video games. When I was kid the only time we watched other people play video games was when there were three kids around and only two controllers. The kid whose house you were at was sure to get one so one of us other two were just out of luck. That's how you knew who he liked best; the one he gave the other controller to was his best friend. It's like what happens every week on the Bachelor, except instead of a rose you got an Atari controller and a chance to play Pac-man while the other kid just had to sit like a dope and act like he wasn't crying inside. "It's alright...I uh I got to play last time...you go ahead man, I'm kinda bored with it anyway. I'll just watch. Help you strategize from the sideline."

The second they had to go to bathroom though you were all over it. You'd be trying to make folks drink. "Man it's hot in here. You thirsty? Need a snack? I got some pretzels at home, I could go get them if you want some."  Sitting behind them making that noise that sounds like dripping water when you hold your mouth right and thump your throat. The other kid's just holding it in, breaking out in a cold sweat, doubled over saying "I don't have to pee! This is how I sit!"

Adam was sitting there the other day and started shouting out "He's live! Dave is live! Where's he at? He's live! I can't find him. He's in the meow world! I can't find him!" Alex came running from the other room "Find him!! Find Dave!" The neighbors probably think Dave is our cat and we lost him last Sunday.

I saw an elderly lady

I had to pop over to the house today on my lunch break to check on something real quick. About a block from our turn in, there was an elderly lady that was slowly making her way down the sidewalk. I've missed some opportunities to help people lately and I promised myself as I drove past that five minutes later on my way back through I'd stop and offer her a ride to anywhere she needed to go. Sure enough as I backed out of the driveway a few short minutes later, there she was shuffling her way down our street. Although the sun was out, it had no impact on the freezing temps outside today as it barely managed to get above freezing. She was bundled up in a pink coat, with a crocheted toboggan over her head, and thick gloves grasping her walker. Slowly and steadily pushing herself down the street as if oblivious to the cars passing her by at times, she just kept going step by step.

I pulled over to the curb just close enough to get her attention, but far enough away to not scare her into thinking I was up to no good. I left the car running, the heat jetting out full blast, and asked her if she wanted a ride. With a big smile she said no thank you. I urged her to reconsider, but could tell the frail lady in front of me was set on making her own way. I asked if she was out getting exercise or was running an errand, to which she responded that she was almost to where she needed to be and besides she would have to walk back to her home anyway so why not just keep going. She then told me she was 94 years old, had lived in this area all her life, and then said two things that I hope will stay with me for quite some time.

"Would you believe I'm 94 years old and I've never had a bad day? Not one bad day in all my years." She laughed after the words came out and so did I. Partly because it felt lately that everyday had been a challenge for me recently and partly because I think I understood that what she was really saying was that no matter how bad things had gotten for her, every moment had been worth it in the long run. We all have struggles. We all suffer traumatic and dramatic experiences....it's whether or not we let them change who we are that's the real test. I don't doubt the elderly lady I met today had nights where she couldn't stop the tears from coming and weeks when she wondered why things happened the way they did, but there scooting herself down the street on a freezing cold Wednesday morning...she couldn't help herself but tell a complete stranger how every one of those days was precious and there wasn't a truly bad on in the bunch.

After a few moments of idle conversation, I tried one last time to take her to her next stop and then made my way back to the office. Honestly I never really even heard where she was headed, but I appreciate the place she brought me to at that moment.

On a less serious note; the second thing she said that shocked me was that she lived in Williamsburg apartments which are a mile and a half from where I stopped her on the side of the road. A 94 year old woman had walked a mile and a half in thirty-five degree weather, wind blowing, pushing a walker, and I can't get on my exercise bike for longer than ten minutes.

In both cases it seems I've got some work to do.

Bracket Racket

March Madness kicks off this week and like most years, I did a bracket. Also like most years I tell all my buddies how I've been keeping up with college basketball all season so this year my bracket is solid because I know what I'm talking about...which I haven't and I don't. Not that I'm admitting to lying, it's just that my idea of keeping up with basketball basically amounts to watching Sports Nation every night. Most of the time they don't even cover college sports. Basically I hover over college basketball and watch a few games a month.

Still though I like the competition that comes with everyone in the office creating a bracket. A few years back I managed to even come in 2nd place in a local challenge and won $100 in free snow-cones. Plus most sports are more interesting if you have something on the line even if it is bragging rights. Maybe I should do a bracket with the boys this year just to see who will win. Start a new tradition in the house with the winner getting a big sandwich or their favorite meal. Might be a blast!

Once he was 7 years old

Yesterday we celebrated Alex's 7th birthday. The boys were born 4 yrs and 8 days a part so we try to make things special for them by having individual family parties followed by a larger gathering a month later. Lex picked Olive Garden as the site for his birthday lunch so Mo, Houston, Gigi, Pops, Brock, Brooke, Tate, Nani, Adam, Mandy, and I all met for a tomato sauce and garlic covered bash. The man of the hour cleaned his plate and also cleaned up with a ton of Pokemon stuff. He even managed to have his wish for birthday snow somehow granted with a light dusting of the white stuff on the ground when he woke up.

There was a lot that went wrong this weekend, but we got Sunday right. Alex was all smiles while being celebrated by some of his favorite people. After all is said and done it's those family relationships that mater the most in life after of course a strong relationship with God. People come in and out of your life and you think that they will always be there, but when the rubber meets the road it's your family that prove they are the ones that will always have your back. You may treat each other like dirt sometimes, but you always find a way to love each other in spite of everyone's flaws. 

No time to remember what this is about

A ton of stuff going on this week, none of it involves getting any rest. Mandy says that I talk about how tired I am at least ten times a day. She's right of course as I can't ever seem to get energized enough. It doesn't help that there is always fifty things going on around the house. Baseball evaluations tonight (which meant getting Adam used to throwing the ball again for the past few weeks), date night this weekend, we got a new couch (thanks Pops!) so the old one is sitting in the dinning room waiting to sell, beside it is a box spring & mattress for Mandy's guest bed that can't be put into the guest room until all the storage is taken to a locker which can't happen until it quits raining every Saturday.

Both boys have birthdays in the next ten days which will bring two private parties so they feel special and then one larger gathering for friends. Adam is studying for the play he has the lead role in (Come see him as Charlie in Willy Wonka this May). My car keeps dying when we least expect it, only to come back to life moments later. Alex just runs around like a crazy person bumping into things half the time. At any given moment I wouldn't be shocked if my phone rang to tell me he's broken a bone. Last month I had to run up to the school because his nose starting bleeding. Typically nose bleeds are caused by dry air or too much picking, but not with Alex. He was playing in gym and ran face first into a wall. I'm not surprised. I once saw Adam run straight into a wooden column at church, do a back-flip, wet himself, and take off running after his friends. Both kids come home all bruised up and never have any idea how they took such a beating. You would think a purple golf-ball sized lump on the leg would at least leave a person with some type of memory even if it's just to serve as a reminder to never do whatever caused it again. Nope!! The same discussion takes place week after week; Me "How did that happen?!" Them "I don't know".

How they can both be so smart and so unaware of what their daily life is like?

"What did you do at school today?"
"How did you do on that spelling test?"
"Did you get to play outside?"
"How did your hair catch on fire?"

I don't know is the answer to all of the above. Sometimes I just stare at them and wonder how they have walking around sense. Of course it must be a genetic problem because you can forget me remembering any conversation after 9:00 p.m. I may be up and walking around until 11:00 p.m., but the brain clocks out at 9:00 p.m.

Mandy and I also have the same conversation at least twice a week:

" Don't forget you promised me (fill in the blank)"
"That wasn't me! I never said I'd do that!"
"Yes you did Bill Beck. You sat right there and promised me it would get done today!"
"What time was it when I made this promise?"
"I didn't write it down, but it was like 9:15."
"What was I doing?"
"You came in the living room around 8:30 and was watching that basketball game that ended in overtime."
"The game went into overtime! I don't remember anything after the first half! Okay I'll do it."

It's a wonder she doesn't drive around in a convertible. All she would have to do is tell me she asked me at 9:30 the night before and I'd have no choice but to agree and sign the registration.

In Just A Minute

This has been sitting in my Edit file for two years. I just happen to see it there today. It's a bit melodramatic, but it was written in good intentions. 

People say that life can change in an instant. If you've ever heard the sound of your first child crying the moment it entered this bright and noisy world, you know this to be true. If you've ever spent half your life searching for that one true love only to see her across the room as if by accident, you understand how quickly circumstances can change. Maybe you woke up one morning to find life has dealt you another hand; I suppose tragedy happens just as quickly as triumph. Suddenly you are swept away in an avalanche of sadness struggling to swim to the surface, to catch a quick breath before you are pulled under again. One moment you are bored by the mundane rituals of the world, seconds later you stand begging for life to be stale once again. It's in these times when you find yourself spun around looking at what just happened and thanking God for watching over you. With that in mind I bring this week's article.

His name isn't as important as what happened to him on that dark stretch of interstate I65 South. I say that with a grain of salt of course. I'm sure his name meant something to somebody. He was most certainly a son to a caring mother, possibly a father to a young innocent child. No doubt he was loved by God regardless of whether he understood that himself or not. I pray he'd spent a portion of his life in the arms of somebody that loved him deeply. That he knew God and His power to grant everlasting life. I wonder if he knows of the hours my family has spent thinking about his these past couple of weeks. 

It'd been a terribly long day spent helping my grandparents move, driving hours on end with two very loud boys, and the last thing any of us wanted was to be stuck in a traffic jam for an hour & a half at 8:30 on a Saturday night. Understandably at first we weren't interested in anything but getting home. Mistakenly certain that what lay just around the next corner was nothing more than a simple fender bender that in turn had been exasperated by slow moving police. As the minutes began to accumulate though we began to understand something very tragic had occurred up ahead. 

Even a week later the details are sparse. This stranger to me...this unknown motorist somehow found himself on the side of the road and in search of help. Whether by being involved in a minor car accident or engine trouble, the end result was the same...he was alone on a particularly dark section of the interstate and needed help. What happened next is too graphic for this venue, but simply put the stranded motorist ended his time on this earth while attempting to cross traffic that did not see him coming. Such a sad way to go...such a tragic way to leave this world behind.

The more we began to learn of what caused the delay in our return trip home, the more we began to imagine what might have been that night. What had put him at that place at that time? What minor adjustments of time could have prevented his death? What if it had been us that had caused his end had we not stopped at one more store or picked a slower restaurant? What would life have been like for everyone had things just not gone the way they did on that lonely stretch of I65? 

God has a plan. For this you can be certain. We may struggle with the situations we find ourselves in, but a plan exists never the less. The future is a frightening concept full of all sorts of nightmares and goblins and as scary as tomorrow might be, I can't think of anything more terrifying than facing it without God....without knowing the love of Jesus Christ. I used to think that someday I would get baptized when I was ready, I'm so very thankful God gave me the chance to live that long. I pray this man knew God, that his family has found peace in knowing he's now in The Saviors arms, and that they have found a way to live for today rather than wait for tomorrow.

Bill Beck iii

Between the hours of....

I don't talk about work much in this arena. Some of that is because I never know who is reading my stuff and I worry about the consequences of casting my place of employment in a negative light. The biggest reason I never talk about it though is that there's rarely anything to discuss. Simply put I have the Chandler Bing of jobs. It pays good, it's close to home, decent benefits, and I'm a pro at it, but very few people know what I actually do. That being said I'm not chasing down criminals all night or teaching the youth of today quantum physics or pulling apart an engine out of a Mustang GT. I'm in accounting. I stare at spread sheets and debate their meanings all day. Yes it can be challenging at times. Yes there are also office politics involved. No I can't see myself doing anything different. I go in at 8:00 a.m,lunch at 12:30, and leave at 5:00 p.m. I have good days and bad days, but after all is said and done life for me is what happens when I'm not at work. My family and friends. Laughing, enjoying each others time, learning how to be a better father, son, and friend. I'm fortunate to have a good job. My job isn't who I am though. 

Marching toward adulthood

The kids are turning 7 and 11 in the next two weeks. Everyone tells you to hold on to every second of their childhood because one day you will wake up and they will be gone. When it's said you smile and say they are right, but you never truly understand what that means until its too late. It's happening too fast and I can't hold tight enough. 

Alex is a curly haired mess of overreactions and quick comebacks. He routinely bellows, yells, screams, and hollers his every emotion. The master of comic relief, his only goal in life is to laugh and cuddle. He meets me at the door every night with a hug and urgent demand for my singular attention. 

Adam is stoic and remorseful. He's quick to react and even quicker to get his feelings hurt. He demands perfection from himself but doesn't have the patience to learn how to achieve it. Easily frustrated that he can't just pick a new skill up and be its master; he is so eager for others to see his latest accomplishment. Baseball, show choir (see him as Charlie in Willy Wonka next month), church...Mandy and I encourage him to be involved in everything and he thrives on it. Alex on the other hand gets frustrated if his tablet is too slow to start and would love nothing more than to never leave the house again. 

This old house

Not quite in the city, not far enough out to be in the country; this old house sits just off the highway in between patches of what seemed like forests when I was a child, but now through these old man eyes is nothing more than a few trees bunched up together. White shudders, a front porch that begs for a rocking chair and a glass of lemonade, built of bricks made from the same red clay that the foundation sits on, the old house was so loved by the woman that lived in it. A family room that allowed her to look out at the front yard and gaze at the cars that would pass by; She often found herself imaging where each driver was off to in such a hurry. Maybe to pick up the kids from school or to meet the girl of their dreams for a first date written in the stars. A cozy kitchen (not too fancy not too plain), a couple bedrooms at the end of the hall that split the home down the middle, hardwood floors that recorded each footstep and would creak at times under the strain of thirty years of a life lived in happiness. The only thing the woman loved more than that old house was the decorations that surrounded the outside of it. 

Tacky, eccentric, weird...she wasn't naive enough to think that the world didn't call her names as they drove down the highway and saw the objects covering the outside of the home. Let them stare she'd say to herself, I love each and everything thing out there. And even she would admit there was a lot to love... those that mocked the old house couldn't see the memories that came to life each time the woman looked at them. 

There was the five foot tall replica Statue of Liberty that reminded her of that winter spent with her husband and children in New York City ice skating around Rockefeller Center until late in the evening. 

In the yard sat a metallic ball on a concrete pedestal that reflected the morning sun in a way that took her back to the beach and the first time she saw the sun rise over the ocean.  Her daddy was beside her and kissed her on the forehead like dads do when they realize how proud of their children they are. 

The bird bath that would bring the prettiest red birds to her yard each spring     In her mind she can still hear the children screaming in delight "First red bird of the spring! Make a wish Momma!!"

The outside of the old house was covered with all sorts of things like that...things that looked out of place and from anyone else’s point of view, cluttered the yard. "It's just too much stuff" those pesky drivers would think as they zipped by never giving another thought to the woman inside the home who would sit on that front porch in her later years and relive her life one piece of yard art at a time. 

Time has since passed and the old house now sits in the same place not quite in the city, not far enough out to be in the country. Windows busted, the door kicked in, a couch lies on its side in the front yard where the Statue of Liberty once stood tall. It's hard to imagine what happened to the woman that lived inside; it's safe to say though that whatever took place was tragic, life changing, the kind of thing we all dread will befall ourselves someday and pray at night for those who have lost so much. 

With its true love having abandoned it, the old house simply fell apart piece by piece. 

As Christians we surround ourselves with reminders of Jesus Christ. Of the sacrifice God made when he allowed his only son be nailed on the cross and tortured for our sins. We share quotes from the Bible on Facebook and we come to every service and we laugh and sing and pray...like the woman in that old house we put things in front of us that make us appreciate the life we live through following Christ's teachings and we smile each time we think about our blessings. But sometimes the blessings don’t speak so clearly.  It could be a series of minor annoyances: the announcements were better at the beginning of service, they never sing anything current. It might take one single event that shakes us up deep down in our bones: maybe you’ve lost someone and church just doesn't feel right. Maybe you got laid off; how is anyone supposed to survive without a paycheck? Whatever the cause, regardless of the reason...just like that old house and the woman that once loved it with all her heart,  there are times when we abandon our church...we abandon God. If nobody in this room tonight has gone through this before, I promise you we all know somebody that has.

We abandon God. We abandon the church. God doesn’t tell us to leave! To pack our bags and hit the road. The church doesn't lock the doors or put bouncers in the foyer to keep us out. We quit coming! We take the Bible and place it on a shelf, we hide the daily verses that used to brighten our day, we take all those reminders of God that some might say clutter our view of the real world, and we let them go wherever it is things go when they are no longer necessary in our lives.

...that old house still sits there today. It’s in desperate need of some love and attention, but it’s still there waiting for the woman that loved it with all her heart to return...just like your church and more importantly just like your God. 

Done let yourself or someone you love feel abandoned. The church is here. God never left you. We are all waiting for you to come back. 

Holi-Dated Post

The holidays are over. 

Done with. 

Behind us. 

Everyone's favorite time of the year is gone and so are all those days off from work that come with it. Honestly the greatest gift I've ever received as a husband and father is the string of days spent around the house under the warm glow of Christmas lights watching movies with my boys and Mandy. Yes it takes forever to get all the decorations out, but to me there's no better feeling in the world then spending all day and night laughing with my family as the smell of cinnamon wafts through the air. 

The presents were fantastic. The looks on the faces of the boys as they got their new bikes, computers, and various other things were great to see, but the feelings of peace, comfort, and thankfulness that also arrive during those two weeks is something I wish I could bottle up and horde away for the long months ahead. 

Wouldn't it be amazing if you could keep a little Christmas in a bottle and just spray a bit into the air when life starts getting the best of you? Chaos begins to take control of your life, you feel like you're about to drown in a sea of angst, suddenly .... psspt....psspt.... a calm comes over you as Christmas swirls through the air all around. 

This year Christmas fell on a Sunday which is nice considering the fact that those same feelings that come in the last few weeks of the year are also the ones that rise up inside of me during those times I feel closest to Christ. I suspect that if I could bottle the Christmas spirit, I'd wind up with something very close to the Holy Spirit. The main difference being of course that one only occurs annually for a short period of time while the other is available in an unlimited supply all year long. All I gotta remember to do is chose to feel it.