What Aday

 Sometimes the most random things end up meaning the most to you down the line as times winds it’s way through the months and years. I remember several years ago our neighbors the Adays got gutters placed on their house for the first time. Mr. Aday was a great guy and he’d almost have to be considering the number of times each week the boys would kick a ball or throw a frisbee over his fence. Like Mr. Wilson from the old Dennis The Menace comic strips, the call would go up “Heeeeeyyyyyy Mr. Aaaaadaaaayyyy! Our ball went over your fence again.” I can only imagine the shear number of dinners they interrupted hoping he would take mercy on their poor souls and walk into the backyard, wrestle the ball away from his collie Zeva, and heave it over the fence only to repeat the same steps the very next day. 

It was in the process of installing those gutters on the Aday house that the contractors left behind a pair of green cutting sheers. Nothing fancy. Not really worth anything. The sheers were simply a tool of the trade left behind by some oblivious worker. After days of telling Mandy the mere sight of them sitting on the corner of the roof was eating at my soul (as I’ve mentioned there is no rhyme or reason to my anxieties), I finally caught Mr. Aday coming out of his backyard one night and immediately offered to help him with “his” problem. The answer I received back did nothing to easy my troubles, “Naaa I figure sooner or later they will realize they left them behind and come back for them.” And so they sat there perched on the corner of the roof line mocking me every time I stepped outside. Winters came, Summers passed, Mr. Aday himself even moved on after awhile. Spencer Tommy Aday passed away on November 27th, 2019. He was a proud father, grandfather, husband, a good friend to two boys who never learned to control a basketball, and their dad who always looked forward to seeing his smiling face as he made his way to his wood shop. 

Today just happens to be Memorial Day 2021 and it also happens that Mr. Aday was a U.S. Marine himself. I’m sure his family is remembering him in their own special way. As for me;  I couldn’t help and smile as I walked out to play basketball with Alex this morning and looked up at those old green cutting sheers still sitting there all these years later on the corner of the roof line where some oblivious worker left them behind. As I said before, it’s often the most random things that end up meaning the most to us down the line. 

The Clone Saga

From the moment your children are born a new game begins to emerge as each child starts to take on the personality of either yourself or your significant other. Sometimes it’s cute, “He looks just like his daddy!”. Other times it’s a commentary on some of your not so favorite traits, “That’s your attitude I’m getting from him. Just look at the way he’s looking at me.” Still other times it’s said out of complete exasperation, “I don’t know what to do. He’s literally driving me nuts and it’s like talking to a pre-teen you!”. I typically take all of the above as a compliment....until the things that make me who I am start to emerge in the the not so best of ways. 

There are certain characteristics that I’m happy to pass on. My good looks, sense of humor even in the most depressing of situations, ability to keep pushing ahead no matter the challenge, a love of a good Spider-Man comic...then there are the things that keep you awake at night as you search your soul for ways to stop what you see as almost inevitable. You can see the mistakes they are making and while not exactly the same set of circumstances, it’s as if history is repeating itself. Maybe this person isn’t the best choice of friend? Please buddy, just focus on one thing and quit halfway doing three different things. I know you think this test will be a breeze, but if you don’t study you’re gonna get hit with a curveball. Quite striking out and expecting to land on your feet, you gotta be prepared for the What If’s. 

I understand they are ultimately their own person, but somethings are just genetics and isn’t it our job as parents to stop the cycle that has plagued you your entire life (even if you didn’t always know it at the time)? That last sentence is a doozy. How can you fight genetics? How can you change the things in them that have made you who you are? Heck my dad wasn’t even around the majority of my life and I still turned out as a carbon copy (with some added anger issues supplied by the angry man).  It sounds silly but I often find myself praying that the her in him will emerge someday and present itself like long dormant superpower. “Wow Dad! Look at how good I can drive!” “Dad, I just balanced my budget for the entire year.” “Dad, I made macaroni and cheese without reading the directions on the side of the box!” 

Lately I keep coming back to the same problem, what if I can’t stop him from turning into me?

Going down swinging

 My kids are sarcastic by nature and genetically designed to be able to tell a good joke. Their mother and I might as well be practicing a standup up routine each day, constantly trying out new material on each other and those around us. I’m sure we are not nearly as funny as we think we are and I know for a fact that my kids aren’t. However they have learned though that there exists a very fine line between a comment that might get you grounded for a week and one that will leave the crowd begging for more. Gotta give them both credit, nobody ever hit a pitch they didn’t swing at. I just wish they wouldn’t take so many turns at the plate. 

Alex seems to be the master of this (not that Adam doesn’t make regular attempts to leave the room on a high note). Like a dog with a shock collar, Alex seems to have this compulsion to constantly test out his boundaries regardless of how many times he ends up running the other way screaming as if being chased by an axe murderer. Most of the time he’s just comes across as a jerk (again genetics at the top of the game), yet quite often he somehow hits the bullseye and gets the standing ovation that fuels him just enough to keep him coming back for more. A month ago I was trying to get out of a promise I had made to attend an event with him. It just happened to be the same week he was grounded for lying over some stupid test grade. When he asked what I would tell the people hosting the party why we couldn’t come, I shot back that I would simply say I had to work. With out missing a beat, he pointed toward the outfield and swung for the fences, “Isn’t that the same thing I’m currently grounded for? Not telling the truth?” It was all I could do not to trip him as he ran the bases and slid into home. 

Sorting Through the Went Through It

 The thing about anxiety is that so many times you don’t realize you are going through a bad case of it until you’ve somehow managed to come out on the other side. Sure you may recognize a symptom or two while in the heat of the moment, but rarely to the point where it clicks that you are quickly going down a bad path. At least that’s the way it is with me at times. Path is an interesting word to use in this case because it gives the image of different roads to travel down. Each road representing a different decision  that needs to be made and each decision a potential catastrophe that could spawn from making the wrong choice. Pretty soon ever neuron and synapses is clogged like a rush our traffic jam full of angry middle aged white guys all trying to get on & off the interstate at the same time. 

Not to say that I can’t recognize that I’m having a difficult time dealing with all that’s going on around me, it’s just that recognizing the signs and turning around the train are two completely different tasks. I have triggers that I definitely avoid as much as I can, but there are some that simply can’t be avoided. Any holiday that involves me having to buy something for someone else sends me over the edge. Checking the mailbox. Large crowds...small crowds for that matter (I guess that would just be people then.lol). Most recently teaching my teenage Adam how to drive is something that scares the living daylights out of me. Gotta be done though. Me having a debilitating fear of life isn’t an excuse for not living it. One reason I got off the meds was so I could be more involved and that’s certainly what’s happening. I’m getting all the involvement I can stand and then some. Chemical imbalance be dammed, I gotta learn to push through it and make the hard choices easier and the easy choices not so hard. 

Keeping busy helps. Lately I’m at my most depressed when just sitting and staring at the television. Back in the day I would live for a Saturday spent on the couch. Those days are gone though as an idle mind brings an avalanche of anxiety. What if’s will choke you just as easily as a piece of overdone steak will. 

I try surrounding myself with sayings that keep me positive. Knickknacks that keep my hands and deepest parts of my brain moving. Avoiding the signs that my mind is going to down a path of potholes and self made  obstacles. I think the hardest part is that just because I have it under control today, doesn’t mean I’m fixed or cured. Everyday brings a new set of hurdles and like a leaky faucet, if I don’t keep a constant watch on how things are filling up I’m likely to end up with a bucket and a mop trying to clean up the mess (God I love metaphors). 

Spork it

 You would think something like a storm coming down the street knocking over trees and catching nearby buildings on fire would be tonight’s main topics, but I’d rather talk about sporks. Lately I’ve been very aware of my carbon footprint. How many plastic bottles do I go through each week? Straws in the trash only to end up choking a turtle somewhere. You know how many plastic forks I go through away each week? Like 10-15!!! That’s not counting spoons and of course everything comes with a knife that couldn’t cut string cheese. I gotta say the guilt is really starting to make me consider carrying around my own set of silverware. Then I’d have to keep washing it off all the time and that seems like a huge hassle too. Poor turtles...

I’d like to stick my foot up the butt of the inventor of the spork. I mean pick a lane and do one thing well. Instead some doofus thought it would be a good idea to combine a fork that won’t stab with a spoon that won’t scoop. Just do one thing right!!! Ever try a yogurt cup with a spork? Hope you like leaving a full teaspoon in the bottom spork guy. How’s last night left over chicken? Better stab it and eat it like a popsicle cause that spork is only gonna get you so far. 

I get this is a lot of silverware talk...honestly when was the last time our silverware was made from actual silver? Some people call it plastic ware which makes me wonder how I’m supposed to wear it. Maybe like a cuff link or lapel pin. 

I’m the cure

I’ve been very open with my kids about my anxiety. I even went as far sitting down with them and describing my mental illness. At time I was coming off 5 years of being on meds and it was impossible to hide the side effects. The sudden bursts of anger. The extra energy. In some ways it was like I’d been gone for an extended trip only to find everyone around me had changed when I got back. And I guess there was a part of me that had been gone... lulled to sleep each day by tiny chemicals designed to quiet the voices in my head. At the start of the year I realized I no longer really knew who I was anymore. What was left of my personality after the drugs had been told their assistance would no longer be required? Five months later I still struggle with the feelings of worthlessness, depression, self doubt... but I no longer feel like a audience member to my life and instead I’m back to playing a staring role.  I understand there is no cure for what I have only relief through daily maintenance on my soul. Hence I’m gonna give journaling another shot. 

Christmas

Halloween isn’t even good and buried in the ground and already Christmas decorations are invading the entire landscape. Without even a thought to consider Thanksgiving, many of us have jumped straight into the holiday season. Attics are being entered for the fist time in eleven months and what is brought out is a winter wonderland in spite of the 80 degree temps we still seem to be having outside. Along with all the trees going up are questions by many who wonder out loud why does Christmas seem to get here so much sooner each year? While I’m sure the real answer lies in the dollars & cents behind it all, I like to think that what it desires most this time of year is what it feels is missing the remainder of it. That feeling of love & hope so closely connected to the holiday season.

In Philippians 4 Paul tells us to always rejoice in the Lord. He doesn’t say rejoice at the end of the year or when things are going your way. Rejoice! When? Rejoice always! Everyday the very same World that tries to move up the calendar and make Christmas happen earlier and earlier, also does it’s best to destroy and ruin and end any hope of a better tomorrow. Yet even as the days grow darker as evil spreads around us, as Christians we are to rejoice! Rejoice not in what did or didn’t happen today or in what holiday is just around the corners, but in the sacrifice that was made on that cross in Calvary and the promise of what a life lived in worship of God will bring to those that persevere.

The Dead Man's Float

There’s a song we sing with the kids during Vacation Bible School called Pharaoh Pharaoh. One of the verses ends with the kids going limp and singing “And all of Pharaoh’s army did the dead man’s float.” Swimmers know that this is an actual position used for life saving purposes for when things are at their worst. Imagine being stuck on a sinking ship in the middle of the sea without any land in sight or anything to cling to. If you can somehow manage to relax and let your body’s natural buoyancy take over, keeping your head just barely above water so your airways are dry; you just might stand a chance of letting the current take you to the nearest shoreline. Exhausted, beat up, at your mental and physical limits; the only thing you have left in you is to sit back and let the tides take you where they may. For better or worse your fate rests in whichever way the winds blow.

This may seem like a scenario most of us are not likely to face, but some of us are doing the dead man’s float this very moment and not even realizing it. Your feelings have been hurt. You’ve lost your faith, your trust in God, in His church, and you are just going through the motions letting the tide take you where it sees fit. You feel like you’ve got nothing else to give and you’re hurt too bad to do anything more than keep your head barely above water. Will you end up in a good place? Will you be worse off than before? Those questions aren’t up you to answer any longer….unless you kick. If you are reading this and find yourself floating through life, I urge you to kick! Point yourself towards God, towards His church, stop floating, and start fighting for your soul! I know these words are easier to write than they are to act on, but you are not alone! God is by your side, Jesus died so you would have a chance to survive, and there are people all around that want to help. Send up a flare, get somebody’s attention, ask for a prayer, tell them you are drowning and need something to hold on to. Stop floating and start swimming towards Christ. 

Do you know?

"Do you know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak" 

Isaiah 40:28-29 is one of my favorite verses because it speaks to the reader at the time they are at their most vulnerable. Down on their luck with all hope about to be lost, Isaiah's words are almost like a slap in the face as if he’s in shock that there may yet be those that do not understand God’s power. "Have you not heard?!" It is in these two verses that we are reminded of God's all knowing, all understanding, all powerful heart. His is the kind of love that wraps you tight like a warm blanket on a cold night and keeps you safe in the knowledge that you are stronger than you will ever truly understand when God is your focus. There isn't a greater love than His and with Him by your side during those moments when all seems lost, you can rest easy in knowing that one day soon you will stand tall in God’s shining light. 

Worth The Hype!!

Well there it went! The greatest and in my opinion most overly hyped scientific event this millennium SOLAR ECLIPSE 2017! finally arrived and was over in 2 minutes. For the past 12 months the legend of the SOLAR ECLIPSE OF 2017!!! got bigger by the day along with the expectation that we were all about to witness a life altering event the likes of which would never be seen again for 100 years. Hide your pets, blindfold your children, grab your welder’s mask, and stare in amazement as the world goes dark during the middle of the day…but not really. Lets be honest it barely got cloudy outside. I’m not saying it wasn’t something to take a peek at, but was it really drive 200 miles, rent a hotel room for 3 days, stand outside in a 100 degree blazing mid-day sun kinda neat? I just don’t see it (even though I did see it).

Frankly after seeing how packed Spring Park was, not to mention the millions of pictures on social media showing football stadiums at standing room only crowd levels, I couldn’t help but think of another day when we will all be staring up at the sky waiting for something truly amazing to happen. A time when as Jesus described it in Matthew 24 verses 29-31 “the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the stars will fall from the sky, and the heavenly bodies will be shaken. Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven. And then all the peoples of the earth will mourn when they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven, with power and great glory. And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other.”

Now that’s something worth risking blindness over!

Bill Beck iii

The Words That Hurt

Matthew 26:69-75 describes what Peter went through as Jesus was being beaten. Three times someone within the crowd that had gathered pointed Peter out and revealed to everyone his connection to Jesus. With each attempt to unmask his true identity, Peter became more and more outrageous in his denial of ever knowing Jesus. Finally it is said in verse 24 that “he began to curse and swear, saying, “I do not know the Man!”

Peter was afraid of the large crowd and what they may do to him if it was discovered that he was a student of Jesus. Peter had to do something to separate himself from the man on the other side of the courtyard being spit on and whipped and he had to do it quick. So Peter did the only thing he could think of and that was to begin to curse and swear as loud as he could; the thought behind this being that if Jesus was who he proclaimed to be, than no follower of the Son of God would dare say such vile and disgusting words. The same connections are just as easily destroyed by us today when we proclaim our love for Jesus one moment and let loose a string of curse words the next. Whether it be while singing along to the radio or quoting a line from a movie or stubbing our toe on the coffee table and lashing out in a fit of rage, when the outside world hears us who profess our love for Christ and then say those same words Peter used that day in Gethsemane; the same affect is achieved…and the same betrayal is repeated. 

The Fire Within

Fall is finally arriving and it never fails that once we start waking up to those cool mornings with the temps in the 50’s, my boys become fascinated with being able to see their breath. The moment we walk out the door headed to school, the excitement hits them. “Dad I can see my breath!” “Look Dad, I’m blowing smoke like a dragon” “I need a jacket Dad it’s so cold my breath is freezing!” I try to explain the science; when you inhale your body temperature warms the air which causes the moisture to condense when you exhale as the warm air hits the cold air all around you. Your breath is always there, but you can only see it when the conditions are right. Like most kids they aren’t interested in the science behind it, they just like running around pretending they have the power to shoot fire out of their faces. “Look Dad I can blow smoke out of my nose!”

Like my children I also find myself waking up with excitement at what I see each morning; The bright yellow sun lighting a brilliant blue sky; Parents kissing their children on the tops of their head and hustling them into school; Joggers running up and down the sidewalks trying to stay in shape; People everywhere beginning a brand new day. When the conditions are right though I find myself looking through all of the happenings and marveling at what else I see…a promise kept by a Man sent from Heaven to save the World. And just like my boys who I hope never get bored with seeing smoke come from their noses, I pray I never become blind to the sight of Jesus working his magic in my life. 

If the price is right

Thanks to social media selling your unwanted things for a reduced price has become almost too easy. Long gone are the weeks spent pricing and organizing everything just so you can wake up at 5:00 to put it all on tables in your yard. Now with a quick pic and a few clicks from your phone, hundreds of people can take a peak at your inventory and offer what they think it may be worth. Recently my kids have taken a cue from their mother and realized there's value in all those toys collecting dust in their closets. Monday they came walking into the room each with a large pile of stuffed animals in tow. As I was sorting the Spidermen from the Tiggers, I came across two Care Bears. These stuffed bears with the symbols on their tummies representing an emotion have been around forever with Mandy & I still having ours put up for safe keeping to this very day (mine is Good Luck Bear). As I pulled the bears out from the sell pile, I asked how the boys could dare want to sell something so priceless and full of sentimental value. I was a bit taken back by the response I got; "Dad! We want the money more!"

As I sat and thought about how easy my children were willing to give up such a precious gift for a few dollars of fun, the more I understood it's the same thing we all do with the gift given to us that day at Calvary. Jesus gave his life so our sins may be forgiven and yet how many times do we ignore that gift in exchange for something petty like an R rated movie or a song with such filthy lyrics they can't play it on the radio? The answer is probably more often than any of us care to admit.

Just Like Your Father

"He gets that from you!". Mandy & I say some form of this expression at least twice a day. "That one's all you right there!". It's as if there's some sort of competition taking place with the winner receiving the secret victory of knowing our children may have their faults, but at least they didn't get it from their mother (I typically lose this battle). I suppose it happens to us all at times; these traits we develop either through genetics or enough time spent with somebody. Adam just came back from spending a week at camp and suddenly everything is SAVAGE! I'm savage, Alex is savage, lunch is savage, fishing is savage...apparently he had a bunk-mate that used the word to mean anything cool. When I was a kid everything was Smurfy, now it's savage. The way we comb our hair or eat pizza (fold or fork?) or the phrases we use...it all comes down to the thousand different things that influence us during each passing minute of the day.

These same ideas of how we become who we are and who people see when they are around us are explored in 1st John 3. A life lived in service of God and in remembrance of His son Jesus Christ, should bring a sense of knowing to those we come into contact with. Love, peace, a desire to do right, and a sense that we are not worth of the sacrifice made on our behalf, should wash out from us whenever we are out in the world. Like the scent from a candle that reminds you of home or the feeling you get when you first meet somebody you instantly know can be depended on, the way we act should create a spark inside those that don't know Him. And when the time has come for us to part ways and let life take us where it may, we should all be so lucky to be remembered by those we knew as "Just like his/her Father".

Rocky takes a bath!

Summertime is in full swing and there's barely a night we are home and not out doing something on the town. Splash pads, taking advantage of free kid's meals at local restaurants, VBS, we try to soak in as much fun in the two months off before school starts back as we can. With all the fun though, there's still chores that need to be done at the house even if we don't get to them until midnight. With that in mind I have been meaning to tell the story of Rocky's bath a few weeks ago.

Rocky is more like a puma rather than a house cat. He's dark gray with a giant frame that when fully stretched out is the length of a small child. When he parades around the house you can see his muscles flex and if ever he decides to take a nap on top of you in the middle of the night, you know it. Alex tends to be his favorite sleeping buddy since that's what Alex does best; laying around playing video games and napping. It was because of all this togetherness that Mandy & I decided it might be a good idea to give Rocky a much needed and long overdue bath. That's what lead us to scooping him up and soaking him in a sink full of water at 11:00 p.m. one night.

What we didn't consider however were two important details. The first being that due to a recent rampage around the house in which several items were broken, Rocky was not winning any awards for cat of the year. The destruction caused was so severe that I proclaimed that should one more thing come up broken, Rocky would be living a life of complete freedom outside with the other wild animals. The second thing Mandy & I neglected to do was tell either of the boys what was about to take place. We just scooped up the cat and went to washing. So to set the scene; Mandy & I are huddled around the kitchen sink. I've got Rocky by the scruff and forcing him into the water, Mandy is doing her best to cover every area in shampoo, and Rocky....well Rocky has gone full beast mode and is screaming his head off. It must have sounded like a fire truck was barreling through the yard and about to park itself in the middle of our kitchen, because Alex hears all the noise and comes running into the room ready to save his favorite pet from whatever trap it was caught in. What happens next is pure chaos as Alex sees me holding the cat under the running faucet, immediately remembers the threat on Rocky's life I made earlier in the day, and has a come apart!

"NOOOOOO!!! BROTHER!!! DADDY'S DROWNING ROCKY!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"HE'S KILLING ROCKY JUST LIKE HE SAID HE WOULD!!!!!"
"WHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Off to his bedroom screaming and crying the cat's name all the way there!

I must remind you that the first reaction every parent has when seeing their child in distress is to stop what they are doing and immediately try to make things better....but we can't do that because we are still fighting this puma who has all his claws and is screaming as loud as the seven year-old that just ran out of the room. Honestly it was like trying to wrestle a raccoon and comfort a puppy at the same time.

"ALEX!!! GET BACK IN HERE!! WE ARE JUST GIVING HIM A BATH!! HE'S NOT DROWNING"
"MEOOOOOWWWW. RAAAAAR. REOOOWWWW"
"WHAAAAAAAA!!!! POOR ROCKY! I LOVE HIM!!!"

The bath ends and the moment he touches ground, Rocky takes off like a bottle rocket sliding on the hardwood floors and slamming into every wall and door until he finally found a place to hide for the night....and I mean he stayed there for the entire night and most of the next day until he was 100% sure bath time was over. Aaaahhh the joys of having a pet and a seven year-old mini me.

There's Not A Friend!

I'm turning 42 this year which seems like a mistake, because in many ways I feel like I'm still in my early 30's. Recently I was talking with a friend about people we have known and where they may be now. I knew a kid in high school that was heavier set, wore glasses, and carried this massive backpack around all day which garnered him the name Turtle. I saw him almost every day for 3 years and then he moved out of state to go to college and I never saw him again. For about five years I worked at a grocery store in 7-Points in Florence. It's where I met my future wife and many of my best friends. I'd work nights during the school year and days during the summer. By the time I left I'd worked in every department of the store and it felt like those days would last forever. I still run into some of those guys from the store every now and then, but I've lost touch with so many of those that I thought would always be around.

This past week within minutes of dropping Adam off at Maywood Christian Camp, he was with his buddy from Huntsville that he only gets to see during this one week of the year. They were in the same cabin for the 3rd year in a row and immediately ran off to toss the football like the year between their last game of catch never happened. I think about friends that have faded away into the background of life, many of which are now just characters in stories I tell, and I wonder where they all went. Inevitably when these times come a song pops into my head and reminds me of the one friend I'll never have to wonder what happened to..."There's not a friend like the lowly Jesus, no not one, no not one" (Johnson Oatman Jr. 1895)

Neck deep in change

My oldest son Adam was playing golf with a friend last week when something unexpected took place. They were at a hole that featured a good sized water hazard that lay directly between them and the green. Intent on making it over the pond on the first try; Adam's friend stepped up to the tee, planted his feet the way he'd been taught, focused on the ball, swung as hard as he could...and was stunned to see the ball never moved an inch. What did move though was the club which left his hand, sailed through the air several yards, and splashed down in the middle of the pond. If this wasn't shocking enough, the young man then let out a scream and began taking his clothes off. According to Adam; one second his friend was lining up his shot and the next he was diving into the water wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and a frown.

As hilarious as this may sound it reminds me of men like Paul who once lived as Saul until a few moments with God changed his life. The Bible speaks of Peter whom couldn't believe his ears when Jesus told him that soon he would deny the Son of God three times. If you think about it, it only took a split second bite into an apple to change our entire history.

As the saying goes; nothing ever changes until it does. We should guard ourselves against any mistakes or lapses in judgment that might suddenly leave us in a moment of weakness. Remember to focus on our faith when things are going our way and not just when we find ourselves neck deep in trouble...or using the example above; in over our head in the middle of a water hazard.

Alone With Christ

Recently my cousin told me the story about how on a trip last month to visit family in Jacksonville, Fl. she was given the gift of alone time. This may not seem like much to some, but as a stay at home mother of three; a few hours to just be by herself was a priceless opportunity. So where did she go? Well in spite of the fact that it was pouring down rain outside, the wind whipping all around her, the sun completely hidden behind the clouds with no sign of breaking free any time soon...my cousin went to her favorite beach and had just as much fun as she would've had it been a perfectly clear summer's day. As she wrapped up her story, she told me about how much she talked to God and how nice it was to almost feel him listening.

Jesus often took time out from his teachings to step away from the crowds and talk to Father God. Matthew 14:23 mentions such a time saying, "After Jesus said goodbye to the people, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. It was late and he was there alone." It really sounds like a simple goal when you say it out loud doesn't it? Say it with me, "I'm going to take a few minutes of each day to talk to God." The problem is that like with most goals, life gets in the way and before you know it today's To Do List's become tomorrow's regrets. So what do you do if you can't find an empty beach and friend to pick up your responsibilities for the day?

Like any goal worth achieving, alone time with God is something you must fight for in spite of the obstacle's Satan puts in your way. Tomorrow morning skip the snooze button and earlier wake up to pray. Cut the television off at 10:00 p.m. rather than midnight so you can read your bible after the kids go to bed. Time spent in prayer doesn't have to a once in a lifetime event. With a few tweaks

Cereal Gifter

Last Wednesday night our sweet friend Natalie who teaches Alex's Bible class, had the kids make Mother's Day gifts. Not known for his patience, the moment class was over Alex runs up to Mandy begging her to open his gift. After a few minutes of trying to calm him down and get him to wait until the actual holiday, Mandy goes over to a side room and opens the gift which her little boy made with such excitement. What she pulls out of the bag is something similar to the Olympic rings in design except of course covered with cheerios.

"Wow Alex! This is pretty! Thank you!!"
"It's a bracelet Mommy!!"

With that, Mandy puts her wrist through the first loop and can't help but notice the 3 other cheerio filled rings dangling down her arm....

"I made it kinda big. I think it's a necklace."

Always the good sport, Mandy takes it off her wrist and begins to put the first loop over her head...and manages to get it about down to her ears before it refuses to go further. Sitting there in front of Alex (eyes wide and in full appreciation of his awesome Mother's Day gift), Mandy does the only thing she can do which is shake her head about flinging the dangling rings back & forth and says

"Hey look it's a headband! This is so great. And look if I get hungry I can just fling a loop in front of my face and get a cheerios snack!"

Seeing how pleased his Mommy is of his expert craftsmanship, Alex takes off to play leaving Mandy to enjoy her bracelet/necklace/headband/snack dispenser. Afterward while joining up with the rest of the church, somebody catches up to Mandy and says

"Did you like your Mother's Day gift Alex made?"
"Of course, but it's a little small. I can't quite figure out how to get it around my neck."

And that's when things fall into place....."Around your neck? You know it's a bird feeder right?"

Classic Alex! Forget listening or reading instructions, let's just put this stuff together and see what we come up with. To add to it Natalie told us later that right away he asked if he could eat some of the cheerios he was putting on. When she agreed, it was one cheerio on the loop and one handful in his mouth. Apparently Natalie lost count as to how many times she had to fill up his bowl so he would have enough to finish!!

A Whopper of a lesson

Before Adam was born I read a bunch of books about how to be an awesome dad. I learned about how the baby will look slimey and covered with cheese moments after it's born. How to wrap them up in a tiny burrito so they feel snug and sleep easier. I read book after book about exercising with your baby, reading to your baby, singing with your baby...I was a baby book expert! Of course all that reading didn't help nearly as much as I'd hoped simply because babies don't follow the rules and always do things on their own time table. After page upon page of instruction, somewhere along the way I learned the secret to being a parent is just being there every day involved in every aspect of your child's life. This continues on through their single digit years and just based on how many questions my mother asks me at 41, never really stops. One important thing the books never covered though is that in the eyes of your child, you are always an example of how to act and react to a situation.

You stub your toe and let out a curse word, the kid sees it. You eat a handful of grapes at the grocery without paying for them, the kid sees it. You flip someone the bird during traffic or run a red light or fly off the handle because Burger King put ketchup on your Whopper even though you specifically told them five times you hate it and they never ever get it right! I mean just one time could you please listen to me and leave the tomato off!! Would it kill them to....you get the point, the kid sees it. There aren't any days off or vacation days when it comes to being a role model for your children. As exhausting as that sounds, it's just a part of the job that Mommy & Daddy have to learn to come to grips with. You might be able to hide your flaws from your boss or neighbor or the preacher at church, but you child is always there watching and listening and recording everything for a time when they may also be in a similar situation.

Recently there have a been some challenges that Mandy & I have faced that left us wondering afterward how closely the boys were paying attention. Looking back at my own childhood I'm positive there were circumstances and events my own mother would probably wish I couldn't recall. While the example we set during tough times is definitely something we should keep in mind, how we pick ourselves up, admit our mistakes, and move forward is also a valuable lesson to be shown to our children. They need to understand that just like them, we make mistakes (some larger some smaller) and that often it's the way we recover from them that provides the greatest lesson on how to be an adult.