Fro-No!!!!

I'm a huge fan of disaster movies. Give me a civilization ending ice storm, a tidal wave of mass proportions capable of destroying entire cities, or an earthquake strong enough to reshape continents and I'm all yours for two hours. Of course I'm speaking purely in a theatrical sense and would never wish those things would actually happen...not to say that in a much smaller scale they don't occur all the time.

Take this past week for example; it started late Saturday with Alex bolting up from his peaceful sleep on the couch and stating (not crying) "Momma, I'm gonna fro up" followed by an attempt at ruining my favorite blanket. What occurred next is sort of a blur, but basically he repeated this same nightmare scenario over two dozen times between the hours of 11 pm and 8 am. Then just as quickly as it began, the "fro-ing up" stopped. There was a touch of a fever for a day or so after and a bit of a cough has stuck around, but for the most part Mandy and I came to the conclusion that what we went through was food poisoning. The doctor seemed to think it was fever virus, but either way we all agreed that after a few days of being at home Lex would be back to his normal self in no time. Christmas was saved!! Like every great disaster movie everyone returned to normal.

The next wave hit late Friday. Almost a full week after our bout with Alex, we'd all but forgotten the previous weekend. Christmas was awesome, everyone had an amazing time, and we were all about to snuggle in our respective spots after a great visit from Uncle Brock...when suddenly....my stomach started to ache. Now I'm sort of a legend in my own mind when it comes to not vomiting. In fact I claim that I once went a full seven years without up chucking. The end of my reign came just after Adam was born when Mandy and I both caught the stomach bug at the same time. Anyways I can hold my own with the best of the non-vomiters and after my stomach doing flips all night and most of the next morning, I was suddenly better! In fact I was ready to get out of the house for the first time in five days. Like the naive scientist that ignore all the warning signs moments before the planet is wiped out by giant man eating rabbits, I simply scratched the entire thing off to eating too much bacon, turkey, sausage, and ham within a four hour stretch (hey it's the holidays give me a break!).

Like Amish teens allowed to roam the world freely for the first time, we ran from the house as quickly as possible, taking everything around us in as if it were never before seen! We were in full blown Target DT's and needed the sweet sweet fix of discounted clothes and electronics (I got a new Capt. America t-shirt and a wireless keyboard for my tablet. Yea me!!!!). Little did we know the rumbles of thunder were already being heard in the distance and by distance I mean Mandy's tummy. After only two hours it was clear we had clearly misread the signs and what we had previously been witness too were only tremors compared to what was now upon us....

I will save you the fine details and only say that by the time the sun rose on this very day entire rooms of the house had been destroyed. Walls crumbled, beds should have been burned, the very foundation of our home shook as people everywhere ran for relief. In the end sadly there were no survivors...wink wink.

Bill iii