Fifteen

Fifteen years ago tomorrow I lifted that veil, stared into those sky blue eyes, and said I do. It seems like it just happened and everything that has changed in our lives took place overnight. 

The old apartment off campus that was so cozy and hidden away. I remember snow days when we would sled through the hills nearby. Summers that would melt candles into pools of wax upstairs. The bedroom covered in stars that would glow in the dark all night. I remember the first time we saw them as we lay in bed staring up at the angled ceiling above us. 

Fifteen years of trying to stretch a dollar. Separate shifts, only seeing each other for an hour a day for weeks at a time. Working two jobs during Christmas. Holding on to every random moment together. I remember waiting in the parking lot until 11:00 at night for her to get off work. Watching through the grocery store window as she mopped the floors and checked out one last customer. 

Fifteen years of simply enjoying each others company. Working together to paint Adams room in green, yellow, white, and blue stripes. Picking pecans off the old tree beside the house. Deciding to have a child and then another. Fifteen years of love. 

Now we have kids, and cats, and a nice house. Friends and family that we cherish. A church that we depend on and a strong faith in God. We both have careers we love. We have been blessed with two fantastic boys that make us laugh everyday with their honesty and how they resemble their mom and dad in looks and the antics they are always getting into. Fifteen years and it feels like I got everything I ever wanted in the blink of an eye. 

Fifteen years and she still causes me to stop and catch my breath when she walks into a room. I love you Mandy Beck. Let's see how long we can go with out blinking. 

Thanksgiving Traditions

Finally have a minute to stop and ingest all the goings on from this past week. Thanksgiving tends to come and go in terms of how high it ranks on my favorite holiday list, but these last few days have been such a blessing.  We have some holiday traditions that always remain unchanged; waking up at 6:00 A.M. to go get Mandy a newspaper, coming back to a hot cup of coffee while watching the Macy's parade with the boys, checking out all the sale papers. Later on in the afternoon Mandy leaves to do holiday shoping while the boys and I watch movies into the early hours of the morning.  

For some I suppose the food surrounding Thanksgiving plays a major part, but for me the true blessing of the holiday is the four days off with my family. Laughing, playing games, putting up Christmas decorations.....yes I love a good turkey with all the fixings (22 lbs this year), but I'd be just as happy with pizza as long as my family is there to share it with me. 

Planetary Pondering

"The sun and the moon are two different things." 

That was Alex this morning on the way to school. It's funny to hear these moments of realization the kids have from time to time. If you think about it this was a very smart statement by a six year old who just grasped that two planetary bodies existed separately on their own. The moon comes up at night, the sun in the morning. It would be easy to say the sun turned into the moon ala Clark Kent to Superman, after all the two are never in the same place as the same time. Except for this morning when a full moon appeared on one horizon with the sun on the other. Thus the sun is not the same thing as the moon. 

Pretty smart kid I got there! 

My Monday Mindset

Not much going on today other than being thankful that I'm finally feeling well for the first time in two weeks. This latest round of sinus trouble really hit me hard, robbing me of valuable time with the family. With Mandy working 4 hours a day and spending more time with the kids, I find myself feeling left out of their world a bit. I understand the importance of my job and my place in the family, but there seem to be inside jokes I'm not a part of and stories not being shared until weeks later. 

The kids are growing up too fast with Adam turning into more of a man everyday of the week. Alex promises to always be my buddy but I feel him growing beyond me more also. As for Mandy I'm constantly amazed by how much she can accomplish in one day. For example this morning before work she washed dishes, cleaned the den, folded a load of towels, and will keep up that pace until late into the night. She rarely asks for anything in return and I find myself regretting not being able to give her the world. The holidays are coming quicker than I would like and I'm going to do everything in my power to make them as easy and stress free for her as possible. 

In other news, the two girls next door moved away leaving Adam & Alex without anyone to play with in the afternoon. They won't miss them much now as the weather turns colder, but come Spring it will hit them harder as they get tired of spending all their time together and start looking for their buddies next door. New neighbors are sure to arrive soon bringing with them all sorts of anxiety issues. I'm already worrying about such minor things as if we will get along, will they keep their yard clean, will they be polite, respectful, law abiding citizens, or am I about to have to deal with a nightmare that has to constantly be guarded against. I'm pointing my energies at other places for the moment knowing all the while the second that moving van shows up, the thought of who is lurking next door will consume me. Like I've said before I'm aware of my anxiety issues and know my triggers. The first one being how much I hate change. 

The road to recovery

Boy did I ever get sick!!! Bronchitis and a sinus infection put a hurt on me going two weeks now. While I'm doing my best to get healthy again it seems the country and in some ways the entire world is swallowing some hard medicine themselves. This was a historic week for all of us as the unthinkable happened, Donald Trump won the office of President of the United States of America by a commanding lead. 

After 500 days of constant attacks by both democrats and republicans, endless debates and scandals, candidates coming and going,  America made its choice...and immediately turned on itself. Riots disguised as protests erupted all across the country as those few that were so accustomed to having their way and living off the government handout were faced with the very real possibility that the morals and beliefs that our founding fathers fought tooth and nail for were still alive in the hearts of many and about to be enforced. 

As incredibly shocking as it sounds there now exists a generation of those that believe that nothing is taboo and if it feels good it can't be bad. Sleep with who you want, be what gender you want, smoke what you want, go to whichever bathroom you want, molest, kidnap, and murder as you please...every opinion and lifestyle is welcome and the government should pay me for living. Do whatever you want as long as you don't say I can't, I shouldn't, God doesn't like, or that's immoral. Cops are the enemy and the drug dealer is just a friend helping deal with my pain. 

This election at least as it appears to be today some 4 days out, was a moment when the hard working, faith leaning, you don't get something for nothing, always ignored American said they had had enough. It's time for this country to go back to the days when illegal meant illegal, evil was punished, and God was at the center of the family. 

In the Beck house the boys got swept up in election fever like everyone else. They talked about it at school, it was prayed about at church, Mandy and I encouraged them to be aware of what was going on around them. Not only did both kids sit next to us as Mandy & I voted, Adam begged to stay up to see the results and even agonized over the idea that his chosen candidate Donald Trump might not win. As a parent it's moments like that when you do everything you can to encourage and breathe life into that small spark of interest your children are showing in something other than Minecraft or  Pokemon. 

It's only been a week and in this new world with Donald Trump as President things are still very fresh and scary even to those that supported his every word and idea. It will be months or even years before the full impact of this election is felt. For the moment though at least from my perspective one of the first and most obvious lessons learned is that maybe it's time to just turn the noise off. CNN, Fox, the media, the celebrity trash talk...I think I've had enough. If you are a comedian, make me laugh. A singer, sing me a song. After that just shut up. Too many unimportant people believe their opinions must be heard and hold weight. I'm thinking its time we all switched off the wifi and spent time getting to know not just ourselves and family better, but more importantly God. 

Sick Thoughts

I'm catching a cold. I'm a huge baby when I get sick; complaining and making all kinds of atrocious noises the very second I become congested. My Grandfather Beck was constantly sniffing his nose and clearing his throat. He would carry a white handkerchief with him and pull it from his pocket several times a day. I don't know if I have a memory of him in which he wasn't dealing with sinus problems. I myself want to crumble into a heap the moment I become infected like a pile of dirty laundry. People walking around me in disgust until I'm finally cured of my lepracy. 

Adam never gets sick. Just a few weeks ago the latest stomach bug ran rampant through the house hitting Alex, Mandy, and myself like a sledge hammer and completely avoiding Adam. Not so coincidentally he's also the most active of the bunch, playing a new sport every 6 weeks or so. 

Today is also the day after Brock's wedding anniversary. I forgot to call him and congratulate him on the occasion. Honestly I can't remember the last time I've talked to him about anything. That's a complicated story for a different day...

Other than that everything was normal yesterday. Normal is so underrated. I'd take normal any day of the week compared to a day filled with chaos. Is normal the best word? A better choice would be ordinary. My normal might be your chaotic mess. My chaotic mess might be your worst nightmare. It's all about what you are used to I guess. 

Halloween 2016

Last night was Halloween and as is the tradition we spent it at the Henson's house along with the Jacksons. I can't remember a Halloween without them. As a whole we've had our bumps in the road this year, but seemed to have survived. Life gets so complicated and messy at times. 

On the way there Adam asked what would things be like without these two families in our lives; after a bit of thought he concluded it would be a very sad place and decided not to think about it any further. I completely understand and pray we stay close to both families the rest of our lives. 

The holiday went by without any major happenings although Adam at 10 is ready to ditch us and go out with friends his own age. I understand he's getting older but my heart doesn't like it. I started writing because I was terrified of becoming a 1st time father and now a decade later the calendar is my worst enemy as each new day sees him becoming more independent. 

Alex on the other hand is perfectly fine being 6 and promises to never stop sleeping in our bed. We certainly may see a time when we are simultaneously begging Adam to stay in the nest and praying Alex will at least take a tiny step out.