A Whopper of a lesson

Before Adam was born I read a bunch of books about how to be an awesome dad. I learned about how the baby will look slimey and covered with cheese moments after it's born. How to wrap them up in a tiny burrito so they feel snug and sleep easier. I read book after book about exercising with your baby, reading to your baby, singing with your baby...I was a baby book expert! Of course all that reading didn't help nearly as much as I'd hoped simply because babies don't follow the rules and always do things on their own time table. After page upon page of instruction, somewhere along the way I learned the secret to being a parent is just being there every day involved in every aspect of your child's life. This continues on through their single digit years and just based on how many questions my mother asks me at 41, never really stops. One important thing the books never covered though is that in the eyes of your child, you are always an example of how to act and react to a situation.

You stub your toe and let out a curse word, the kid sees it. You eat a handful of grapes at the grocery without paying for them, the kid sees it. You flip someone the bird during traffic or run a red light or fly off the handle because Burger King put ketchup on your Whopper even though you specifically told them five times you hate it and they never ever get it right! I mean just one time could you please listen to me and leave the tomato off!! Would it kill them to....you get the point, the kid sees it. There aren't any days off or vacation days when it comes to being a role model for your children. As exhausting as that sounds, it's just a part of the job that Mommy & Daddy have to learn to come to grips with. You might be able to hide your flaws from your boss or neighbor or the preacher at church, but you child is always there watching and listening and recording everything for a time when they may also be in a similar situation.

Recently there have a been some challenges that Mandy & I have faced that left us wondering afterward how closely the boys were paying attention. Looking back at my own childhood I'm positive there were circumstances and events my own mother would probably wish I couldn't recall. While the example we set during tough times is definitely something we should keep in mind, how we pick ourselves up, admit our mistakes, and move forward is also a valuable lesson to be shown to our children. They need to understand that just like them, we make mistakes (some larger some smaller) and that often it's the way we recover from them that provides the greatest lesson on how to be an adult.